I’m inspired by the words of Matthew Henry, who said, “…for those whom God designs to make special use of He will take special care of.”  Many of you will never take the opportunity to read my book, so I will share with you here how God preserved me for this time:

  1. First Attempt – two packages of sleeping pills with 24 ounces of alcohol resulting in being unconscious for 48 hours, hoping for death
  2. Second Attempt – the same amount of pills with a bottle of Tequila resulting in being unconscious, rushed to the hospital to have stomached pumped when found, hoping for death
  3. Third Attempt – over six hours sitting in an enclosed car with a hose leading from the exhaust pipe resulting in paralysis, auditory damage, hoping for death
  4. Fourth Attempt – asphyxiation and the slicing of wrist, hoping for death
  5. Fifth Attempt – during a robbery when threatened to shoot me, I walked closer so he wouldn’t miss when he pulled the trigger.  He did and the gun jammed, hoping for death

Yet, I am still here with no evidence of attempts except for a scar on my wrist.

During my earlier years before substance abuse, I faithfully served my God.  I faithfully served my church family, and the many inmates imprisoned in New York State, getting involved in their experience in hopes of preserving their lives.  I faithfully served in “live” radio ministry refuting false worship and providing messages for two years in hopes of preserving the lives of many who would have simply turned on their radio.

And God preserved me and NOW I know what a waste it would have been had I fallen asleep in either one of those attempts.  I take joy when I awaken each morning to a new day of life.  I am especially gladden when I’m given a message, a spark of inspiration which flows from my mind, into my fingers as I type messages to post and maybe, just maybe, it will be useful to someone who will read it and will help in preserving their lives.

What a waste it would have been had I not been given the opportunity to see even today.  To know the happiness I now experience when back then I could not see it.  Did not believe it would be any better.  I could not see the tomorrows prepared for me.  Now, I am able to contrast them with the todays I now have and the work given me to accomplish, and all for the preservation of someone else I perhaps will never know in this life.

I have been preserved, not only for me, but for you.

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May 31, 2016