…I would be lost! Now, don’t look all surprised, it’s the truth. I’m not one of those and have never been one of those who will say these words to the point it’s now a cliche, “I’m saved and filled with the Holy Spirit”. I’m not and never have been. How does one who is “saved” and “filled with the Holy Spirit” continues to do wrong? I’m not talking about my past but my present. It’s not what I will possibly do today but what I probably will do.
When I look at myself and see my “self”, I see failure. Again, not of my past but of my present. Nothing but failure.. My willfulness, selfishness rules and sometimes I want to give up. I want to tell God, “This is too hard for me. I can’t do it”, followed by a word to Satan, “Okay, you were right. I can’t do it, so now would you just leave me alone. You won.”
As I continued on my “meditative walk” this morning and considered my “utterness”, Jesus stopped by my thoughts and He shared this with me. “I’m glad you now see yourself as I see you. For a long time you have gone thinking you have arrived, but the truth, well, now you know the truth. Be grateful I haven’t come right now while you’re on this side of your understanding. While it is good to examine your “self”, look to Me! What you’re unable to do I specialize. You are absolutely correct. You CANNOT do it. I can. I am going to offer you a gift. It’s one I’ve given you many, many years ago, but you’ve never opened it, so I “offer” it to you, again.
“It’s My(self) I am offering you, Roy. Together we walk this journey and where you slip, I continue the pace. You fall but you never fell because I lifted you up. And, My son, when I KNOW you are ready, THIS is when I come, for you.”
Now, I’m back home with resolve and a smile knowing, accepting, I’m doing okay.
July 21, 2014