I’m supposed to write something, but I can honestly say I don’t know what it is.  I’ll let the moment of Inspiration do its job and allow my fingers to follow suit in typing what is given me.

We’re all amazed at what transpired the other day with a pilot at the young tender age of 28 flew his jet into a mountainside killing 149 other people.  Our thoughts are more likely to be, “that’s fine, but why did he have to take innocents with him?”  Many people do not understand depression and unless you have, then you will not.  I’m depressed, right now.  I’ve been depressed for several days.  I have a history of depression, given medication, but I chose not to utilize such because I understand what depression is.  Oh sure, I have tried on several occasions to take my life, but God did not let me succeed.  I would never have thought to do what that young man did, but I understand his feeling just not his action.

So, why am I telling you all this?  Because there are others out there who are just like me, like that pilot and don’t know what to do.  What I’ve learned to do and I’ll share with you is this: take a deep breath.  The fact you can take a breath means there is more to life awaiting you.  You may not see it now but it is real, very real, but we have to get beyond the moment to experience it.  I keep in mind several days, weeks, months down the road I can look back at this time and see how I was brought through it.  This is called a “testimony”.  This is what is required of those who have them to tell others because we never know how many are experiencing what we’re experiencing and without hearing, how can one learn or even have hope?

When I think about that first time in June of 1991, swallowing alcohol and sleeping pills waking two days later thinking I was dead.  Or February 1993, doing the same thing ended up having my stomach pumped after being found unconscious and rushed to the hospital.  Or June 1993, sitting in my car while the engine was left running for over six hours, and a physician exclaiming I should have been dead within an hour, to suffer hearing damage and paralysis which lifted several hours later.  Or the time when I was facing a .9mm pointed at my head and I dared the guy to pull the trigger.  He did!  I’m still here.  Today, I can look back at each of these experiences and am “thankful” I am able to look back because I also have the ability to look forward and that breath I took, deeply, with you, means I can look forward to two assured things: (1) A good life with its blessings, and (2) Future depressed moments.  You see, they both come together as a package, not separate from each other but it is something called, “life”.

For those of you who are experiencing this for whatever reason and you have medication:  take it.  For those who choose to go forward in life dealing with the down moments, remember it passes eventually.  Eventually can be the next month, week, day or even hour.  But, we need to stay still until that time comes.  Meaning, we need not to do anything which results in a permanent solution for a temporary problem.  Then we need to be involved in activity we enjoy, whatever that might be for you.  Then do it.  Why are you still sitting here reading what I’m writing?

I need to be about my own pleasure, too.

March 31, 2015


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