One of the characteristics between substance and Internet/Facebook abuse is the amount of time used/wasted in order to maintain the addiction.  It used to amaze me when I was doing Crack how morning would arrive so quickly because in most cases I got my stash during the night while hunting, procuring and using, living in the shadows.  I remember walking out in the daylight to my car, because my usage normally took place in a motel, and was awestruck at how bright the sun, probably caused by staying awake all night, physiological changes due to the drug as it affects the ocular system, and the light represented being exposed, no shadows of darkness to lurk.  So, the best way to resolve this would be to get more, and more, and more and, well, those years between 1991 and 2001 are a blur.  While my actual addiction time runs about 15 years, those particular ten years, EXCEPT for God’s involvement, was truly a waste of time.

It has been said, those of us who suffer from addictive natures, we don’t really stop being addicted, we just transfer the addiction to something else.  This may be true, for me, but I can tell you this, I’d rather be addicted to the Internet/Facebook than the addictions I’ve known in the past; however, it does not excuse it, either.  The first thing I do after waking is: (1) Come downstairs, (2) Turn on the power for my addiction, (3) Turn on the router and fan, (4) Turn on my laptop, (5) Open the backdoor for the cats, (6)  Use the bathroom, (7) Connect with the Internet, (8) Turn off my laptop usually around 11pm!  Notice the time not accounted in the narration?  It is no different than those days hitting the pipe, EXCEPT for God’s involvement, which includes my morning devotions, inspirational writing, religious study and research, because all else afterward and in between “IS” truly a waste of time!

While I used to take my laptop everywhere, almost like an additional appendage, the curse of modern technology, gadgets: tablets and mobiles, allows me to connect with my addiction more easily.  No different than carrying my drug paraphernalia, back in the day.  The difference being, I would not pull out my stem and light up in the public’s eye, but there is nothing preventing me, you, from pulling that gadget out and hooking up.  Look around you and what do you see?  Mobiles and tablets.  Go to a restaurant and what do you see on the table?  Mobiles and tablets.  Got to the library or church and what do you see?  Mobiles and tablets.  Go to a crackhouse and what do you see?  Hypodermics and crackpipes and emptied cigarette lighters.

And at the end of lives, what does one see?  Wasted lives.

Now, knowing all this, we have a chance…

December 28, 2015

Addiction Time