“You never spend time with me!” “You prefer to spend more time talking to people you meet on Facebook, than me!” “You flirt with all of them and don’t flirt with me!” “But you are doing better than you have before.”
All words, common words, from those who are family and friends who are frustrated because they have to compete with the “true” family and friends.
When lost in my addiction to substance abuse, I can witness as well as anyone else who will be honest, those members of your immediate household, and it doesn’t matter who they are, will NEVER be as important as those you will find common ground in addiction. How could they? They don’t share the most joyful, necessary and feel-good experience which can only come from our addiction to whatever drug we are using. The same applies with our addiction to the Internet and Facebook. IT IS THE SAME THING.
Why would you expect it to be any different? Instead of money being stolen and used to buy drugs, it is now the money which goes to keep the electricity and Internet service working, and sometimes it becomes money utilized to capture, because that is what it is, to capture others into one’s interest through the web. Instead of crack, weed or alcohol, it becomes digital information whether through words or pics. And do you possibly think you can compete with an addict’s pleasure derived from the virtual world when you merely comprise the real world? In fact, and this is going to be hard to accept, could be the reason why they need to escape to this world of make-believe and you are left alone to make those quotations stated earlier.
Yesterday a friend shared with me her pain because of an alcoholic husband. My advice to all sober people who are associated with an addict: LEAVE. You cannot help an addict IF they are not on the path of help themselves. The ONLY thing you can expect to receive from an addict is hardship, disappointment, grief, frustration and it is for certain they will bring you down! My ex-wife lost financial stability, her home, a future good life because I could not keep from putting little white rocks onto a glass pipe. She experienced pain, the lack of electricity because bills not getting paid. She knows what it is to rent rooms in hopes of paying a mortgage. Think about it, renting to strangers in order to live in your own house! Tragic, isn’t it? It is no different than with someone you’re living with who’s struggling with addiction to the Internet and Facebook. How many strangers get face-time, and a lot of it, in your own home? How many strangers have been in your bedroom, lying next to you, while your lovely addicted spouse is chatting them up on their mobile or tablet? It’s getting ugly, isn’t it?
Addiction is real. I repeat, you can NEVER compete and win with someone who is addicted UNLESS they are wanting to come out of their addiction and put into place the steps necessary to STOP. The only advice I can offer you is to leave, but don’t worry, you won’t be the first—they already left you!
July 30, 2016