For many to relate it is that time when you want to enjoy that forbidden piece of food which contains either too much sugar or salt, and the too much concern given by family and/or friends gets in the way, so one must resort to covert acts in order to satisfy the urgings which become very strong to the point of unreasonable behavior.
Unreasonable behavior? What could be unreasonable behavior regarding food? How about not being able to fall asleep until everyone else is asleep and sneaking into the kitchen, opening the creaking refrigerator door ever so quietly in order to access that piece of whatever it is. Some even go so far as to have planned their midnight satisfaction by hiding the forbidden food in the garage, downstairs bathroom or any out of the way place where just a bite, or two, of that morsel is found satisfying which enables them to finally fall asleep in a peaceful state surpassing those who are left wondering what happened.
The same occurs with substance abuse in the form of drugs. I remember when I first became addicted, I was separated from my wife. When my life was becoming unmanageable I thought I would be better off home where her presence would be a deterrent to my continuing escalating use of crack cocaine. Boy, was I ever wrong. I know what the word “sneaking” really means. It didn’t matter if she were there or not, I would find a way to get my coveted high. My time of peace would come when she would either go to work, to the store and the ever so often casual visit with friends with my not wanting to be in her tow, just so I could spend some quality time with my true lover.
Let me make a point here which need to be made. I would have been better off remaining alone in my separate apartment because I would have arrived at my bottom faster than the extended time dodging my ex-wife. She, too, would have found peace in my absence then the obvious sign “something is wrong but he doesn’t want to talk about syndrome”. In these moments of urging, when sneaking becomes enraged “leave me alone”, the smart party would have found a way to make themselves scarce otherwise you could be placed in a situation you would rather have not been in attendance.
The same occurs with Internet/Facebook addiction. When your loved one, friend or family member begins to stop what they’re doing when you come into the room, know something is occurring which doesn’t involve you and the more you insinuate yourself into the situation you are going to cause either one of two things to happen: (1) The addict will have chosen to leave where they’re at peace with what they are going to do no matter what, or (2) You will find yourself not wanting to be around, being pushed away, rejected and abandoned because it will happen, just a matter of time. Your ability to love should be so strong where it causes you to know this truth: “I have an addict here and I need not be in the crossfire!”
While it may seem as though you are giving up, patronizing or allowing the loved one’s addiction to flourish, you’re right! Addiction needs to flourish in order for it to reach a point where recovery is more desirable than continued addiction. So, while it will be difficult to walk away, not come downstairs/upstairs or in the purview of the addicted one, know the time you spend away from them is actually allowing the full course of the illness to take place and we all know what will be the result of any sickness: death or health. But don’t allow their person’s sickness be the cause of your death!
January 18, 2016