Have you ever met someone, well, not actually met them in “real” life, but in the “virtual” world and it appears whenever you send them a message, no matter the day or time, the response is almost immediate?  It is as if they were sitting by their gadget waiting for your question and you were not disappointed by the fast turnaround.  This is usually me.

Having lived on both sides of the world, I have felt compelled to make myself available to—everyone.  I can honestly say I’m not connected for six hours out of the day, well, night because I’m sleeping and if I were not sharing this home with a wife, even my downtime would still be online.  I know what it means to tell you there is “too” much information flowing around us.  It is very difficult, for me, to turn not only my brain off in order to get restorative sleep, but difficult for me to be unplugged.  She makes me turn off the router because she pays for the electricity, otherwise, yep, it would be on even when I’m not awake because my pc needs to be connected for updates.  That’s the world I live in.

Several people have made an effort to reach out to me in a more human way because I don’t reach out unless it is through digital methods.  I won’t even pick up a book anymore unless it is digital.  EVERYTHING is digital and I have to admit it, I like it.  I’m hooked.  It IS my world and I like it.  What I don’t like is being smothered where my identify is measured by electronic impulses making my life either a “1” or “0”, (on/off) coding for information.  Where I cannot even take a bite unless I’m facing bytes.  I am so truly addicted.

With my cigarettes, my crack, my porn, and all my other addictions, there came a day when I didn’t do it anymore.  I am grateful those things are in my past, but what I’m facing today seem to be worse than those others.  For one, a greater good is done.  In the words of one friend, “It’s not about sitting down whole day on your computer, sharing some thoughts and ideas and inspirational messages. It’s about time to put all those theories into action…” If nothing else, I have to realize it is certainly not healthy.  I’m surprised my hemorrhoids don’t have hemorrhoids, for sitting so much.

Whenever I’ve counseled those who are either addicts in recovery/restoration or those who love them, my message has been the addict will have to learn how to live again!  No, this is true.  They will have to learn how to walk, where to walk, how to spend money, how to make money, how to live all over again, regardless of the age of maturity.  Addiction robs us of life and all it entails.  Our addictions smothered the very life out of us, and we need to learn how to walk, as children or more aptly, someone having had a debilitating medical trauma has had to have physical therapy.

This is where I am—again, learning how to live.  Will have to learn how to be moderate in what I do and set limits, boundaries or continue to be swallowed in this self-made abyss.

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March 29, 2016