It has happened before. In fact, it has happened too many times in the short time I have lived in this country. Let’s call it professionally, “Internet Interruptus”! And, it ain’t pretty. In fact, it appears to be one of the few reasons why I and anyone else who is addicted will display anger.
I’m normally a very cool, mild-mannered person, normally. But what I do when addicted is not “normal” for normal people, but for addicts it can be an explosive situation. Let me cite you an occasion which occurred during my addiction to substance abuse:
LaVern and Terry were my drug friends. They made their home available as a safe haven to do crack cocaine. Had known them for years after having met LaVern, a “strawberry”, better defined, “crack whore”, who would assist me when I had a pocketful of money but not the contact to acquire the drug in the days of my beginning. After having smoked everything and ran out of money, she hit the streets. It was enough time to almost have sobered up, but in the “geek” mode where emotions are tense when she arrived home. I was ready. Terry was ready. LaVern, was, well, almost ready. The best she could do was managed to get a few crumbs and took great care at accumulating them on a counter-top. It was enough for one good hit. To divide it three ways would have only made us disappointed. Terry suggested it go to me since I was their guest having spent hundreds of dollars already for everyone. I said, “no”. If this was the best she could do having sold her body, then she should keep it. I never felt comfortable about smoking a prostitute’s drug or misusing her body. Terry decided since I declined and she was looking as if that was her clue to get the hit—alone, he blew on those crumbs and they scattered into the wind! She was pissed and her anger was obvious. He was pissed because they were back to square one after having an expectation. I was surprised and decided to leave.
The same occurred yesterday, well, occurring even now. I have the means, my gadgets, and a limited connection having to use a pocket WiFi which is nothing like having my DSL line. It’s enough, but every now and then a wind blows my connection and I’m with nothing. I’m pissed. I felt the anger rising and in frustration slammed the pocket WiFi onto my desk-top. Wanted to clear all the stuff on my desk with one sweep of an arm. Spoke angrily at two Facebook friends who otherwise have always communicated with me nicely as we compared notes on religious themes. (Sorry David and Genny.) And why is all this happening? Because I am not able to get my fix, my drug into my system which brings me happiness.
Whether it is a substance or lifestyle, addiction is real and can be so disruptive to normal lives. What I am finding out, for Roy, while I have been able to deal with marijuana, tobacco, caffeine, crack cocaine, the new gorilla which rides my back is the Internet and it appears to be worse than them all! I write about the Bible and heaven to a great extent, but I think I need to put in my request to heaven, “If you can’t put me into a good “hot zone” so I can be connected, you might as well leave me right here!”
Now, staying here will truly be a “hot” zone!
April 28, 2017