Sin is the absolute reason why you/we are here. However, sin is broken into classifications: drugs, sexual, money, physical. Perhaps the most heinous and broad in terms of its own composition is sexual immorality. Many who come to prison would have been as a result of some type of sexual breaking of the law, but we never consider the more abusive sexual immorality which occur while within these walls! I will examine each one closely and see where you are so you’re able to take this time and break away.
Pasted inside locker doors or on the walls are women you don’t know, whom you will never know and if you knew you’d be ashamed to admit you did especially if it were photos of your wife, sister, mother or daughter! For the female inmate, perhaps your husband, brother, father or son. At any rate, pornography does not hold the power over women as it does men, certainly not the sheer amount of men as compared to women.
We have to consider an important realization; however, those pasted photos are indeed someone’s loved ones who if given better circumstances would not have done what they did, so why must we use these vile images for our own deviate purposes? It is so sad when we are not able to control our bodies, our minds and by self-abuse during the night in between count or cell viewing, when our cellie has gone to sleep or claim a certain stall in the bathroom, masturbates which has never solved anything.
My first prison bid I was exposed to men offering sexually-posed photos of their wives for smoking materials and told by my cellie what was going to occur during a particular time, “so please no movement” which would detract from his time of self-abuse!
Now as a much older man on this bid observing men, more particularly younger ones who callously go in pursuit of magazines for the purposes of, “relieving tension” for all tense and purposes does the opposite, followed by older inmates who know better and should be in the position of an elder to inform them it does not work; but, nonetheless, we’re caught up and for many will never advance further than this absolute form of weakness. I know what I’m speaking of. The two longest bids I’ve done, this being the longest, neither have I once done such because I’ve wanted better for myself.
With the influx of, “urban fiction” or better known as, “Hood Books” what is not pictured by photos are generated by words flashed upon the mental screens of one’s mind. Can this be any better? If nothing else, it is worse because a photo will always be just a photo, but the mind is able to take words and create various scenes while one reads, and because it is created in the mind, it will be much more difficult to erase over time. It doesn’t go away simply because you say so, or think so, as easily as putting down a book.
In my own experience, as a child, I learned masturbation by using novels when I was not quite a teenager and books were more readily accessible than magazines.
Since so much time is available to do nothing, this is exactly what is spent in discussion with others, “sexually charged nothing!” How many wives, ex-wives, girlfriends or ex-girlfriends are betrayed by the conversations which will form mental stimulation for themselves or another to end in a masturbatory moment? How many men and women given the term, “bitches” and “niggas” are treated with disdain as if they were not human beings but human refuse, garbage, for those who are language-challenged.
I know what I’m speaking of because I, too, suffered the addiction of pornography in all its forms besides chronic masturbation. It was that second night while doing my federal bid when I believed God asked me not to do it for then He would teach me many things, and He did. Nineteen months later when He returned with the question, “What is harder for Me to heal, your drug addiction or your sexual addiction?” It then dawned on me, well, it would have had to be the sexual addiction because I had everything I needed to fulfill, if it could ever be fulfilled! The realization if I were healed of the most difficult then why could I not believe He’d already healed the easier!
While you’re here, consider these words and even if you previously pursued your addiction, today can be that day when you have found freedom, even though the gate still remains closed.