Chapter 24. Admission

“Don’t do wrong, can’t be wrong.”

This is the saying most will hear from me.

When you’re locked up, there are rules, no matter how stupid they may be, even as inconsequential they may seem insofar as getting a ticket, but they are rules nonetheless.  My struggle was, not is, taking the butter given me as well as sugar packets out of the mess hall to my dorm.  I used the butter when I wanted toast and sugar when I wanted sweetened tea.  It would save me the expense of buying through the commissary.  This was my reasoning.  Yet, I would bring upon myself undue angst when having to go through checkpoints to prevent such thefts!  Yes, let’s call it what it is.  Theft.  Whenever I, you, take something out from the original intent or purpose, it is theft, which many of us were charged and precipitated us being here.  Because I’m older, having gray hair and beard to show it, most times guards would overlook me and go after the younger inmates and because I mostly walked alone, avoiding groups, I was left alone.  I can honestly say I was searched once and during the search I had to give up an extra slice of bread.  Also, during a locker search on two occasions I lost my butter and sugar, thankfully, not ending up with a ticket.

Getting a ticket would have been much easier to deal with until one day one of my, “homies” would stop by my cell and laugh saying, “You know what kills me, Mr. Roy?  You’ll spend all day, (meaning the Sabbath) reading your Bible, but you steal butter and sugar!”  Well, that did it for me!  He was absolutely correct.  God had been dealing with me on the very subject, but I would not listen, minimizing the import of the message as well as my relationship with Him and those He’s put in my path.  How could I minister to others when I, myself, could not handle the sin of butter and sugar misappropriation?  No, let’s call it what it is.  It is, “theft”.  How, then, could I be expected to handle crack cocaine or issues dealing with pornography, those things I’ve had to deal with in my past if I can’t handle the little things now?  I was convicted.

Had I never done wrong I could never be wrong.  I stopped procuring (stealing) butter and sugar and my character has been strengthened.  Sometimes it can be something so small which can either set us up or take us down.

When I think about the topic regarding, “Admission” it covers a whole lot of areas.  When we are wrong, no matter what it is, when we, “admit” to ourselves and to those in authority who question us, we have an obligation to be truthful.  This past week I walked in on someone who apparently fought and lost, in the bathroom.  Because of a past experience of a similar nature the sergeant called me out because he knew I’d always tell the truth regarding anything I know was wrong.  I did not disappoint him.  This subject goes somewhat with the previous chapter dealing in the area of, “Snitching”.

Don’t place yourself where you could be questioned when you either know something or have done something which is wrong.  As I have explained to those who are here with me, my loyalty is first to God, then myself, then you.  I cannot be worried what you might do to me as much as I know what God will do because I choose you over Him.  It could never be.

Chapter 25

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