I deal a lot, recently, with thoughts of my past. Probably you are having similar thoughts: “How can I get beyond what I’ve done? This is going to follow me around for the rest of my life.” Let me tell you right now, if you are having these types of thoughts you need to get rid of them because they will forever affect your growth to the point you won’t have any growth until you let them go. This is a serious problem and you need to be rid of it today.
Certainly you and I have done some pretty foul things in order to practice effectively our addiction. Some of my sisters, I feel for you for what you might have done in order to get that next hit. Even for guys, I often say, “You don’t know how low you’ve sunk until you agree to do whatever it is just to get another hit.” And though those days are well behind us, there will be those we’ll face who will never forget what we’ve done and it makes us feel bad. Somehow, to admit we were addicts—then, doesn’t ease the pain during our recovery—now.
Being labeled a sex offender no one feels this uncomfortable existence more than I do. The media portrays it in a negative light and it is so much in the public’s eye, there is no escaping it. So, I’ve stopped trying. I don’t hide anymore especially from what I really don’t know others are thinking or saying about me. This has to be God’s problem now. Instead, I walk with my head up because He has forgiven me and no matter what I’ve done He wants to forgive me, so why am I carrying the burden still? When you have changed your mindset regarding whatever it is you have done and consider what is being done for you and that daily, then you can begin to move away from this pattern of belief and recognize eventually no one will even remember. You don’t have to go anywhere different or become a different person. God created you. He loves you. Can’t that be enough?
If you were all that bad, you’d be the Devil, but someone already has that job.