My first wife made a statement to mutual friends which have stayed with me all these years, “He won’t know what he had until I’m gone.” She was right and so it goes with our own situation right now. We have been taken off the street, have gotten a little clean time and think we’re able to walk right out and begin a life devoid of addiction. We may be right or wrong but is it worth taking the chance? Wherever you are, you must believe God has brought you there and the determined time for you to be there has been set for a reason.
Sure, you have been given many good things now you are on the right road, but what would occur if those things were immediately removed from you? Had you thought about it? Would you be reduced to the maddening animal-like person you were on the street just a few days or weeks ago? Mostly likely, you will return because for now, it is all you know. Many have walked this walk you’re on and those who left will tell you to stay. I left the first time, too. I know what it is to return and find failure. More than two years later I had a second opportunity to try again and I completed the process. I still had trouble afterwards but the fact I completed it gave me what I needed to keep me during those times of falling.
Here I sit, many years later, and although I am not where I desire to be, nor am I even equaled to where I was before I took my first drug to addiction, I am in a much better place now and shudder to think of returning. I couldn’t make it. As in missing my ex-wife, I would miss my current ability to live, eat, drink, change clothing, comfortable resting place at night, these things are a blessing and not to be taken for granted. This is what keeps me where I am today; knowing what it is to miss what was first good.
If you left now, it wouldn’t have been taken away this time, those precious things you cherish. This time you would have given them away.