12-Step, 12-Step Recovery, AA, Addict's Devotional, Addiction, Alcoholic, CA, Christian Recovery, Cocaine, Crack, Disease, Drugs, Higher Power, Marijuana, NA, Recovery, Rehabilitation, Religion and Spirituality
…it isn’t because we are not finished. Mostly it is because we are thinking back with too much pleasure. When you have reached a point in your life where sin is filled with disgust then you won’t want to return. However, when you are talking with others and discussing how good a certain product was, who you were with, how things were right, then this is when your experience in clean-living is likely to be disrupted. Our thoughts become action and this is where we venture upon dangerous ground. I had an acquaintance who remarked, “Roy, when you talked about it you had too much power.” I didn’t quite understand what she meant until I was back, “out there” doing it again.
Our very discussions regarding our past life should not have the same power and glee it once held. People listening to us should see remorse, pain, guilt, shame, disgust and a disturbance in our very bearing. They shouldn’t hear us joke about it because in truth, there was nothing funny about being, “out there”. It was a very deathly time for us and we should remember it as such. If you are putting too much “power” in your discussion about it, sadly to say, you’re not finished yet. You have not been broken and unfortunately, you might be headed toward another experience, but it doesn’t have to be.
Begin to ask God to remove the desire, taste, and wonderment of the life. He will do it. Ask Him to help you to remember the pain and what happened in your life which resulted to where you are right now. You don’t have to make a return trip just to come back to where you are days, months or even years, as I did. Healing can be an instantaneous experience, if you’d let it be. Why do you have a need to return and for what? There are no bad boys, “out there”. It beat you up and that’s why you came running inside where it is safe. So stay as long as you need.
If you are having too much excitement talking about it, then you haven’t learned not to appreciate it.