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When I attended a meeting for the first time, something within me knew I was not in the right place to receive the help I wanted and knew existed.  I just knew this.  I was hearing words which didn’t give me hope and yet they were presenting a “form” of it.  They were telling me “I was an addict, always were an addict and always will be an addict” and then followed by saying “don’t pick up”.  How can this be?  Don’t tell me what I am and then expect me not do what is done by what I am!  Either I am or I am not.  Before I ever used whatever it is I used, don’t tell me I was “already” addicted to it because I was an addict already!  That is foolishness.  No, more like profound stupidity.  And don’t tell me I will always be one and then expect me to have hope!

Let me be quite frank and this is the basis of my calling:  those societies which promote this type of sobriety are in error.  They are not able to give you what every one of those persons in the rooms want:  a completely sustainable life without addiction.  Now, certainly someone will tell you they haven’t “picked up” in twenty years and have a coin to prove it.  This is possible and true, but to continually living in the struggle is not what I want and am able to achieve by doing it another way, healing, which only God can give.  If I am ever healed, I don’t want it because I’m in rooms.  If I am in a room ever again it is because I’m spreading the message, in the room, you don’t need the room anymore.  You can be “free” of any vestiges of this horrid life, once and for all, if you want it; if you believe it, if you, and this is so wonderful, if you accept it.

I have a Sponsor who I am in contact with daily.  He’s told me when He comes to deliver me, He will take my sins and cast them into the “sea of forgetfulness”.  He doesn’t remember them anymore.  So why is it I should be burdened with remembering it?


If God can forget it, why can’t I?