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Recently I struggled with depression because it had not been clear what God is doing with me.  It’s not I doubted Him but just wondered what is next for my life.  First of all, you need to understand, these days are not written in chronological order, although I do try to tie them altogether in some way which would be helpful for us.  I always include me, too.  So, this particular day is written March 10, 2009, but will be posted as April 13th and whatever year you are reading, then this pertains to you, but today, I learned my first book, “If You Send Me, I Will Go” is being shipped to me!  I am very excited about it.

When I think about how my addiction, the substance one, began in 1989 and when I lost my job with IBM in 1991, I didn’t have hope nor thought I had a future.  I lost all desire to live.  How can I attain what I had before?  Well, today after hearing the news and realized from the first day I used was all leading up to this period of my life.  Even before I began writing my story, my story had to be lived, experienced and then the laborious task of being chronicled.  Perhaps you will read it and see what I mean.  But, it is your story, too.  Hmmm, I was just given inspiration for tomorrow’s devotional:  “It’s Your Story, Too”.  Thanks for the hint!

There is a refreshing as I now allow God to cause providence to direct me as to what will happen.  I have been chosen to write and have completed the task.  All He did was tell me to write.  He also told me if I do so, I would never have to worry about going hungry or having a place to live.  So, I have to have faith in these words and leave the results up to Him.  (Note:  written April 4, 2013:  for the first time in 22 years, I now have my very own apartment since leaving my home!)

He did keep His promise.  I do have “hope and a future”, now.  And so do you.

We will never have anything if we aren’t willing to put forth the effort.  God is in charge of the blessing department, and we must do our part.

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