Right now it is twenty-three degrees outside! And it is snowing. Well, not really “cover the ground” kinda snow but little flakes falling which you’d have trouble seeing if you weren’t looking at the right angle. But, it reminded me of those days when I was, “out there”. Oh, I dreaded waking up in the “Mission” or other homeless shelters and having to trudge out in the cold wind and snow. I didn’t have proper shoes and even if I did it would only have brought temporary relief. Eventually those toes would get cold and numb.
I remember walking through a blizzard, in sneakers, to get to my brother’s home. For more than three hours, I kept the steady moving of one foot ahead of the other. At times, I could not see the street, which was my guide because there was no sidewalk. It was buried and there hadn’t been a chance for anyone to shovel yet. The kind of snow you can’t keep your head normal but bent down to keep the biting snow from hurting. Then you recognize why God made eyelashes. You keep blinking them to keep the snow from caking. Now, that’s snow.
Today, I’m inside. Still homeless only because I don’t have a place to call my own but the time is coming when I will. But, at least I am inside. It’s warm. I’ve had a nice breakfast. I’m writing and I’m blessed.
It can snow as much and hard, and it can be as cold as it wants to be; except, I still remember those who are still, “out there”. So, I change my mind. Not about the weather. I just want the weather to encourage them to try to get to where I am today. Sober.
Sometimes, I think the weather is God’s way of showing emotion. Like the time it rained profusely when I left a three day binge.
God was crying and His tears were covering mine.