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For weeks, no, for months I have struggled with the thought of having one more bout, “out there” and I have come to some conclusions:  I don’t want, too.  I never really did want to return from where I’ve come from, but it’s the thirst and it’s a good feeling, I guess that’s why we did it in the first place.  I am not so concerned because of my almost ending legal situation and what result if a bad urine test might present if found out.  I’m more concerned about losing what I have worked hard—daily—for.  I remember losing and I don’t want to return to it.  How much harder would it be now to recover, not just my health and assets, but my soul?  I don’t want to think about it, yet, I have to, because this is what is keeping me together.  I totally now see how this has nothing to do with me but the strength of God assuring me I don’t have to do it.

How long does the battle last?  I don’t believe there can ever be a “set time” for when it is not a thought at some point, but I do know today I grow a little stronger because I’ve come to accept the gift of salvation.  It becomes more and more real, each day, because I’m nearing eternity more than I was just twenty-four hours ago.

I have to keep in mind the battle has already been won, for me and for you, two thousand years ago, so there’s no need for me to continue to fight for victory.  It is in my hand already.

There is so much ahead of us and we have no idea of what it can be if we continue to look back at what was.  If it was all that good to begin with, we’d still be, “out there”, but Someone has brought us out from it to enjoy what we’re experiencing today.  Let’s continue to enjoy this.

When you’re having a tempting moment, remember the moment of your freedom.

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