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When most of us come back to the reality of life, we come back to much less than what we left.  Most of what we had we either sold it or lost.  In fact, many of us will begin with much less than when we first began just out of school.  I had a brand new one bedroom apartment, a new car and an expectation of a good future.  Here some thirty-three years later, my living area consists less than the size of that apartment’s bedroom.  I have to leave my room to use a communal bathroom and I catch a bus.  My future?  I have expectations but they’re not quite what they used to be especially as I near my golden years.

Having lived in a prison cell for over two years has also greatly changed my expectations of life.  I learned I don’t need a large home to be happy.  I can be satisfied being conveyed about by others driving me.  I don’t tie my happiness with things as I used to do.  Interesting how one of my godchildren told me once, “I thought you were the richest man in the world.”  Yes, I guess I gave that appearance in my carefree, accumulate what-you-want life.  But it’s over.  They’re grown and realized I was not rich; and I’ve gotten older and realize I didn’t have it all, either.  You see, if I did and it was all that good, why then would I leave it?  Someone once said, “Cocaine is God’s way of telling a man he has too much.”  Well, it certainly worked for me.  It certainly assisted in reducing me from that carefree living to the point of wanting to die when in my addiction.

Today, I have learned what I need.  I need salvation.  I need liberty.  I need God.

You will never overcome your addiction until you understand your need.

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