The other day I had to pay a bill. I took the bus to get there but I would finish my errand before it doubled back, so I began to walk. This walk would take me through the area where I spent so much time, in the past, in my search for drugs. Now, although they’ve renovated the area, even a new group of people from another country has taken over this area, but there’s history I cannot deny.
Those secular recovery groups would have you believe one has to be careful about, “persons, places and things”. When you’ve been truly healed, God often brings you back to those, “persons, places and things” in order to be the catalyst where others might have the opportunity to receive what you have—freedom from addiction.
But my time is not yet.
Just walking through the area caused my stomach to have the feeling I remember so well when I was finished making a score and couldn’t wait to get back to use. It was not a delightful feeling but one filled with anxiety. Today, I didn’t score a cache of drugs but instead I scored listening to the warning system which prevented me from wanting to return to the life. Although the buildings were basically the same, my thoughts were different, my life is different, my goal now based upon experience had given me understanding it wasn’t worth it. A conscious decision was made and now even more impressed within my being, I’m not that way anymore, don’t want to be that way, but I cannot be afraid of that way. We are fearful of what we don’t understand. Oh, I understand the life of drug addiction, but I don’t fear it. I respect it. There’s a difference.
Now, when my stomach has that irregular feeling, it’s probably time to go get something to eat!
When you think to cheat, this one thing you can believe, trust your stomach, if it is upset!