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I have something to say to someone, but I cannot.

You see, the family with whom I am accounted as one of them has decided to keep something hidden from me, as if I am an outsider about the sad truth of one of their brothers who has found himself bound by addiction!  He’s my brother, too.  In fact, because of the pain and suffering he now has, he and I share a relationship which his sisters cannot possible know—the family of addiction.  In reality, it is the pain, suffering AND shame they feel which prevents them from wanting one of their extended brothers—me, from knowing, and yet it is because of the experience I’ve recently encountered, my own addiction, I have something to share with my brother but cannot, because they don’t want me to know and I cannot ask about him because it is a secret and I’m not supposed to know.

Addiction.  The addict suffers and loved ones suffer and both can be relieved if they will only allow this truth to be known:  addiction is real and cannot be kept in secret if healing is to begin.  It is what we do, as addicts, we hold within us the secret of our addiction and our family and loved ones accompany us by withholding the secret.  None of us wishes to acknowledge the truth:  addiction is in the house, and it won’t leave until we bring it out into the sunlight, to be seen, to be understood, to be acknowledged.  After all, wasn’t our addiction done in the dark, in covert practices?  After we have conquered the beast, why do we continue to hold our recovery in secret?

As we begin this new year, let’s begin the year with the truth about ourselves as well as our loved ones.

I have something to say to someone, and I will.  I’ll begin with you.

Admit you have a problem and begin to be free.  Learn a new way of life. I did, yes, me.

Vikki Blossoms

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