I have passed on. My task completed and my desire not to go on but receive my reward has been granted, and my last breath has been taken, time for rest. Fighting life on life’s terms was not easy. I knew this day would come, and in some ways was impatient, expected it many times sooner, either as a direct result of my own hand or by the hand of another, while searching those mean streets looking for drugs. I often thought of the many times I pulled the vapor of crack cocaine into my lungs wondering if this would have been the last time, but I survived all of that to go on to have a life, although difficult, was meaningful.
I never had children or a successful marriage but I did write a book. I maintained a website which helped who knows how many people to be encouraged. In my last days I stood before hundreds, perhaps thousands and shared with them how God saved me from the gutters of the world to bring me into the presence of His glory. He was my friend. Speaking about friends, I had some wonderful ones here while spending my days toiling. What began as an introduction through others generated life-long relationships which proved the text having “friends closer than a brother”. One of them shared with me, “when you go it will be a sad day. If nothing else people will remember you for your humor. You had a gift, a gift of wit, because your comments would fly so fast and you made people laugh. I will miss you, in fact, I will cry for you. You can count on one to cry for you.”
I will cry for you. How many will cry for you when you have exhaled your last breath? How many will miss you and remember you for the good you did regardless of the evil you committed. How many will “cry for you?” Will they “cry for you” because they miss you or will they cry tears because they’re glad you are gone and your suffering has ended, but mostly their own? Will there be tears for you when you have passed on? Who will cry for you?
We worship You, Lord on High. We worship You, until we die.