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I met a woman who made the statement, “I cannot marry a man who doesn’t have a relationship with his own mother because how would I know how he would treat me?”  She proposed how to go about reaching out in a broken relationship without knowing the truth I should have been reaching out to her; for, she became my mother! I have heard it said people usually become attracted and marry those persons who are similar in characteristic to those who’ve hurt them, often parents.  Now, I know this is true.  In the last days dealing with this former fiancée, I experienced similar abusive behavior reminiscent of my childhood which reduced me into that childlike stance although fully grown today.

When you find yourself abused—again and are experiencing feelings of depression and discontent you must acknowledge something is wrong not necessarily in the abuser but in yourself, the abused.  Why are you subjecting yourself to such maltreatment?  If anything, this should be a key to recognizing the hurt you’re still carrying and utilize this time as a means of closing the door and moving forward in your life.  No one is required to stay in an abusive situation and this is often the case while being associated to someone caught in addictive behavior.

This particular topic I could write pages on how it has affected me, but for a short devotional thought suffice it to say, there is no reason to “return” to what has not been a healthy experience, then nor now, if you are merely existing in one today.  You hold the key to the door of happiness and freedom and it begins by mustering the courage to say, “not anymore” and closing the door, this time with you being on the other side.


If you are having a relationship where you are hurt, it is because you choose to be.