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I experienced a taste of the future.  We called it, “Movie Night” and popcorn was popped, thick blanket placed on the floor as we sat, ate popcorn and watched a movie.  I had seen the movie before so I was watching them, my “engaged” family-to-be; eleven and thirteen-year-old daughters and their Mom, together in warmth, making memories.  While sitting there I was remembering the times I sat in crack-houses and not expecting anything better than what I was doing, oftentimes wishing to die.  I knew happiness was possible but it was not going to happen for me.  I dreamed what I was experiencing as a possibility but I had thrown my life away and did not feel I was deserving of any good thing, until now.

Addiction robs us of not only what is happening in the present but it steals our dreams.  We cry when we have a moment of clarity and think about what we have lost.  We see where we are and cannot see tomorrow.  Tomorrow hold the same as today which is a pain-filled existence and so, for many of us, death would be welcomed.  However, God has the ability to see our future and strives to keep us pushing forward refusing us to receive death because He knows what He has planned for us.  I would have missed all of what I am now experiencing and it is so sweet I would not trade it for anything in the world.

I have paid a great price for the happiness I am having today.  Christ paid a greater price for what I am experiencing and the best I can do, we can do together, as we leave our addiction behind us is to realize our dreams are now coming into reality.  We’ve been given a second chance whether old relationships are restored or new ones forged, we need to remember what going back will do to us, and them, and recognized addiction is no longer an option if we wish to maintain the joy we’re experiencing in these days.

Forgive me, Father, for my sin.

Thank you, Father, for restoration.

Vikki Blossom & Roy