An Intimate Moment


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It was a special moment shared between two persons for the first time.  The embracing, touching and drawing closer together, of two souls, who decide to put away all issues and find comfort within each other, transcending everything called a problem.  Inspiring and desiring to know this is just the beginning of all good things.  What I experienced could never be found in a crack-house no matter how good I felt when high.  Although the feelings are closely related one is based upon truth and can further grow into something wonderful whereas the other leads only to death of first, sensibilities, and then life itself!

If you are addicted you know the desire to feel the closeness of another person.  You use the drug as a means to have a so-called moment of intimacy which can never be so called.  You see, intimacy can only occur when you are in your right mind, with the right person, at the right moment.  Anything short of this is not real but a resemblance and so unfulfilled, and, like the drug you continue using thinking maybe the next one, the next one, the next one…  When you’ve decided to choose clean-living it’s never the next one but “the right one” you can love and appreciate.

If I should die today I can go having achieved an intimate moment where God was a part of the experience.  There is no shame or guilt when you do what you know is right.  I cannot share with you anymore than this because it was an intimate moment between me and mine.  You, too, can have this happen if you are willing to let go of yourself because having an intimate moment is when you give yourself.  There can be no giving if you are under the influence because then it’s all about taking.

The touch of someone in love, is actually the touch of God.

No Excuse to Fail


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Those following my devotionals will know this past week has been a difficult one.  I believe I was instructed by God to write, since August, daily so addicts and or their family and friends will receive instant information regarding my own experience because no doubt it will parallel your own no matter what year you might read this.  This past week has dealt with relationships and it seems it was off and on these past few days since becoming engaged.  Well, it’s on again!  Another lesson learned but this time in relation to my own clean-living experience; and that is, no matter how life swings, whether positively or negatively, because it will, this does not entitle me to ever return to self-destructive behavior by using drugs.

Various groups counsel those recently deciding to seek recovery to remain free from relationships because they may be too involved and cause relapse.  Logical information but just not practical.  When hurting people are finding themselves free from the trappings of being, “out there” it exposes them to the probability of having a desire to enjoy something good and what better than a loving relationship especially since we’ve destroyed past ones?  However, it needs to be understood when difficulty arises, and it will, this is no excuse to fall backward.  In fact, this would be an excellent time to develop the support you need with this new loved one establishing a foundation, but the key to doing this is being honest with them about your past life and they having a choice to being able to decide, should it occur, without be thrown into it by being taken by surprise, if they want to be a part of it.

Relationships aren’t easy.  We’re hurt when something happens because we don’t know it until it happens and there is no provision to prepare.  I believe God hurts because of knowing prior to our falling, but He doesn’t give up on us.  Although we do not know the future, as He does, we can practice what He does and not give up, on each other and ourselves!

The reason I sing and lift His name on high, is because God will stay faithful to me.

Vikki Blossom

Be Careful What You Pray For


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About ten days ago (written in 2009) when it appeared a relationship was imminent in my life, I prayed asking God to teach me about relationships after having gone through failed ones and didn’t want to repeat my past.  In just these short days I went through the joy of receiving, the disappointment of adjustment, the reconciliation of issues and then loss and mourning!  What I thought would perhaps take the remainder of my life, and it could very well be, I received a crash course and learned a great many lessons.  Perhaps the greater lesson learned was:  I am a man and not God.

God has the ability to sustain relationships through very dark periods because He knows the beginning to the end.  He is aware of what will happen and this is where we fall short.  We cannot look to each other and we certainly cannot look to ourselves to find what only God can and will give you to help you through those dark times because they’re purposely placed to draw you closer to Him.  We must remember this.  Those dark and hard experiences we must go through are placed proportionately to how we are to grow closer to God.  This is how He teaches us about relationships because the ultimate relationship is not between husband and wife, child or friend.  It is between man and God.

I asked God to save me from drugs and He did it.  I asked God to teach me about relationships and my focus became mostly on a woman, but God all along was teaching me my focus should have been on Him.  Doesn’t He say to seek Him first and everything else will be added?  Why do we continue persisting in getting this wrong?  Thankfully, God offers opportunities to use the lessons we’ve learned so we can see our own growth.  What is your prayer today?  Be careful!

We never get what we expect from God!  And we need to be thankful for this.  It’s always more than what we could have imagined.

God’s Got This!


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Joe’s worried about his son.  Darlene is concerned about her husband, just like Sarah.  I’m concerned about if this woman’s ministry is going to be getting off the ground or should I just look for ordinary work.  Don’s concerned about his daughter.   We are consumed with worrying about what we don’t know, what will be the result; and it is not to be taken lightly, for all of our concerns are valid and can have devastating effects if not properly handled.  But, is worrying the key?  We all know the answer but how do we stop?

Yesterday evening I was in a very bad space.  Things were happening within me and I know looking in retrospect it was the enemy trying once again to get a hold of me, because he’s not happy with the success he knows is inevitable.  What better attack than to bring something once thought buried and done away with a resurrection of old feelings perhaps it’ll be enough to cause failure.  In short, let’s allow God to be the only One who will bring about resurrections because He is much better at it for those considered righteous and who love Him.

We need to keep in mind we cannot disappoint God.  There is nothing we can do which could blindside Him and He IS involved in every aspect of our lives and we need to rest on this.  We will have victory over all that is presently before us.  Joe, God is working on your son and He doesn’t fail.  Darlene and Sarah, God is moving in your husband’s life although you’re not able to see the evidence which you need to see to bring you comfort.  Don, she’ll be okay because God’s in charge of her future, and Bro. Roy, God knows what He is doing in your life because of what He has brought you through.  Let’s just remember:  God’s Got This for Everyone!

He’s Alpha and Omega and knows it all.  Every thought and move, even when we fall.

Vikki Blossom

Women’s Ministry – An Appeal


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When I went to a drug ministry in 1993, they had two homes, one of which was for women.  In the brief time I spoke with the women and the pastor who ran both, he permitted me to spend my days there which was not granted to the other men.  He explained to me his reason why, “Bro. Roy, you seem to have a heart for them.  Where others would continue to pursue unwholesome advantage, you provide a calming influence.”  I learned while permitted to have lunch and watched how they took such care in serving me, allowing their nurturing characteristic to come to life again and I knew, then, this was something I wanted to do if given the opportunity.

I speak to various ministry operators and share with them my desire, my passion to begin a ministry of helping women in addiction and mostly what I get is warnings.  It seems no one wants to care for them because it is not as easily done as for men.  Even the home I mentioned the pastor shut it down because it was too difficult and I remember seeing those women placed in vans and shuttled to other places, but some would return home having not finished their care.  I was sad wondering how many would not make it back home but to the streets and certain death.

This devotional is not going along the path of my normal thoughts.  Instead, I want each of you who read this, to think and consider women who are hurting and will continue to hurt because we are too afraid to provide help for whatever reason it might be.  I just don’t know what exactly God is calling me to do but I know it is in helping our sisters, mothers, aunts, and daughters to find their way not only to God, but home, where they belong.  They’ve been away too long now.

Quite frankly, I need your help.  This is a plea for your prayers and support in whatever way you are able to do so.  If there are those who need help and there is someone who wants to do it, shouldn’t we put these two together?

Many will be lost, because we didn’t try.

The Time it Takes


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We want it now!  We want to have achieved clean-living for a long time and we want that time to be now.  We desire to have a better relationship and we want it to happen now.  We want, we want and we want it NOW!  This is a problem for us all.  We are so impatient for what we want and believe we deserve and we cannot understand when it is not given to us in the time which would do us the most good.  God DOES NOT hurry His blessing to us knowing we’d only waste it so He prepares us to receive what we’ll treasure, but this will take TIME.

Someone once asked me, “Bro. Roy, why don’t you put too much emphasis on your birthday?” and I shared with them it is because I had nothing to do with it and since we were meant to live forever, and will, it just doesn’t make sense to celebrate my 2,397,289,193,198…get my point?  God doesn’t reckon in time and we should stop doing so because after all, what would be the point?  Whatever we are to receive from Him, will come, after we’ve been prepared to receive it.

My friend, don’t put yourself into a frenzy wondering when things will get better.  They will.  Stop worrying about the time it is taking before you get that job.  You will.  Stop worrying about if a good relationship with your family, child or spouse will ever take place.  It will.  It just won’t happen in the time you think it should, but it is well on the way of happening.  One belief I try to practice and I will share with you: live your life as already having received your blessing and then you’ll come to realize you had it all along!

The time you are taking to worry is the time you are losing to receive a blessing.

He Tells Us


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Last night, it came as a thought.  God spoke to me, telling me He doesn’t want me to do something which disturbs the relationship between us.  It, the thought, came without questioning whether it was a word from Him, because I know what I’ve been doing does present a problem, a break, if you will, between Him and me.

When the new day dawn and I was able to be up and about, and the behavior God spoke to me earlier rose within me.  I began doing what He told me not to do and when in a moment of clear-mindedness, I was able to pull away, for a moment, to begin to do what is positive I read yesterday’s devotion, as I was editing this book.  I came away with the belief, what I was doing was causing God pain.  I love Him, so why would I want to do this?  He’s shared with me His feelings, which are now a part of my own.  So, I stopped the activity.

I then came to this day and found it was a repeat of yesterday.  In other words, it was giving me an opportunity to write something for today which was based on yesterday, although the writing would be about four years apart!

That’s the wonderfulness of God.  What may seem like years is only a day, and what seems like a day, could be years, but the one thing consistent is God and what He tells us.  He never changes, no matter the times.

Whatever God tells us, is worth listening.



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Whether you are an addict, recovering addict, recovered addict, family or friend of an addict, or involved with an addict but not considered family or friend, there is one consistent thread which seems to run through each of us and this is:  Pain.  There is nothing so uncomfortable which causes irrational behavior as unresolved pain.  Pain is the core of all of our problems and we need to recognize this and find healing so we may move forward and have a productive life, even if it means leaving pain in the form of a person, if this is the cause of our pain.

Yet, I am conflicted.  I experienced two telephone calls from a loved one which resulted in painful endings; however, on the third attempt the call was filled with affirmative statements and laughter.  The original pain was wiped away and replaced with a soothing balm as a result of patience, love and understanding but more so from a willingness to honor a commitment.  I could have chosen to safeguard my feelings and emotions and not been made vulnerable for the third call, by holding onto the pain which would have prevented the eventual pleasant call to follow.  Only one question was asked and answered after the second call: What would God do?  Answering the question properly allowed me to experience happiness.

No one can determine what you need to do regarding any matter which is causing pain in your life.  No one knows the deeper issue of relationship between you and the person causing you pain, but I know this, God is fully is aware of what you are going through and just as I took time to listen to Him offer me an opportunity to be like Him or remain as myself, I was able to make a choice which provided relief from the pain.  Pain is a given but remaining in pain is a choice.  This is the solution to pain; exercising our choice as to how we will handle it.

When we are having a moment of pain, it becomes necessary to remember, it should only be a painful moment—not life.

Praying for Direction


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I spent time meeting with people I don’t know, discussing a plan I’m not sure of, about people who I couldn’t possibly know!  Yet, in all of the uncertainties mentioned, there is One who does know the answers.  After the meeting, I walked away a bit flustered wondering, “God, are You really calling me to this ministry or am I making a mistake?”  It doesn’t help planning for a “ready-made family” pending.  I don’t know how I am going to accomplish all which seems to be in front of me.  I need help.  Or, is it I need “faith”?

There is no doubt I need to take the advice I’ve given and heard so many times before:  Stop looking at “self” and look to “God”.  I know I am unable to handle all of these important matters which are coming at me at one time.  Why not leave it in the hands of Someone who handles all of the world’s affairs, AT ONE TIME!  Incredible, isn’t it?  I know He has not brought me to this place without having a plan put into motion.  It is just I am not able to see it yet but a year from now I will look backward and see how He set everything in place; but, it begins with submitting my life into His hands and admitting, I don’t know how to do this.

There is no shame, guilt or embarrassment you need to admit when you come to the same crossroad in your life.  There is a reason for shame, guilt and embarrassment when you don’t consult with the One who has the answers.  He doesn’t want you to fail especially when it involves the lives of others.  Shall we stop focusing on our inability and more on God’s ability and leave the matter with Him?

God is truly the only solution for me.

He completes me.

Vikki Blossom & Roy